Has
been a while since I have written, and 1:00 am sure is a perfectly unobtrusive stretch
when one feels a void in the gut and there, a packet of lays, ah too salty, with
a perfect packet of Hershey’s open. Did I just mention lays and Hershey’s and
not say potato chips and cookies or just snack time? Why Maggi and not noodles?
Why surf and not detergent, why Prada, Gucci, LV and Hide design and not my
purse, why Cavalli, Armani, Ralph Lauren, Ritu Kumar and Rohit Bal and not just
clothes, why Nike or Puma, Reebok or Adidas and not my running shoes, why my
Mac Air, Dell, HP and not just a laptop, why my Bullet or Harley and not just a
motorbike? We are all about brands and association these days. Even food is
labelled – I am eating a Hagen dais ice-cream, a Starbucks coffee, a Mc Donalds
burger and there detailed association.
Now,
give a Mc Donalds burger to a filthy beggar lying on the railway station floor,
who has probably not had food for the last couple of days? What would he think
and eat – Bread! And would also thank you for showering him with food. There is
a thin line here, people might take this as ignorance, what would the
uneducated beggar know about Mc Donald’s and Gucci, you give him Gucci shoes
and he would sell them or gift to his wife thinking she might not have to walk
bare foot. BUT, the intent is we have forgotten the basic and have started
believing in the cover or the make. A flight would take you to the desired
place, business and economy class would come second depending on a person’s
finances and comfort he/she is trying to seek.
Similarly
we have these labels in our relationships. Talking about being judgmental, I
know a girl by the name of “ah she is the one who got divorced”, “the fat one”,
“the tall one”, “the giraffe”, “nerdy”, “loser”, “the pretty one”, “the jibber
jabber queen”, “the bossy one”, “the irritating one”, “Boss’s girlfriend”,
“teacher’s daughter – have heard that a lot!”…their characteristics become
their identity, where are the name’s here?
We
believe in association, thereby giving details and labelling people. Even Facebook
asks for “tags” on people. Over the years we have forgotten that products are
not people and vice versa. People with the same names define themselves
remarkably. The ones with oozing self-esteem stand out and still need no
introduction and are identified by their name. Did we ever introduce “God” as –
Hey he’s that guy who is always worshipped and who created the universe.
Husband, wife, sister, brother, sister- in –law, brother- in- law, friend, best
friend, BFF, Soul mates are all labels when it comes to relationships. These
become more complicated as we grow. Underneath these shells there are PEOPLE.
People who understand you, care for you and think good about you. My brother in
law before marrying my sister was just another guy and I wouldn’t be interested
or would not even know him. But now he would matter and is FAMILY. We make our
family and we make our relationships with unknown people. We get pets and give
them a lot of love and food and a name, calling it our best friend and spending
the happiest time with them.
With
regard to association, people skills in companies are very significant. My
account or engagement would have some 300 people or my company on the whole
would have some 100 thousand employees but I would, in the end, know 50
employees? Or maximum 100? These people would interact with us, pool a cab, be
a part of external teams, administration departments, finance or marketing
teams, senior management or HR! Do we understand them as friends, No, these
guys are colleagues and acquaintances, each having their own story, each born
to a different DNA and each having their own victories and sorrows. Why not
understand them as people first and then continue working with them. Who has
the time? Why would I want to engross myself in someone else’s life, why
intrude? Then does this give us a right to label them for our own convenience
because my secretary Emily could be replaced by another Emily 4 months from now
Think about it!
We
have 1500 friends on facebook, we talk to 100 people every day, get our work or
daily chores done through our house help, secretaries and a lot of other
people. Do we really know them? How many people would actually help you when
you break down, you have an emotional outburst, care for you when you’re old or
visit when you die? Just family or also the one’s you care about. What is the
driving force – the labelled relationship, my wife or my son will be there for
me just because they are my wife or son? The army matters to a leader, the
kingdom makes the king, people vote and make their ministers, indifferent one’s
having the right designations or labels are just futile.
Make
your relationships and worship them. Know the value of a rugged cloth covering
your essentials than getting a designer dress. Know the value of food before
having a fancy 16 course Italian meal with desserts; know the value of shoes
before getting a 9 grand running shoe. Know that being healthy and running is
important THAN flaunting the shoes in public and friends. Utilize these labels
prudently if you can afford them. Because as products, relationships like
designer labels are expensive and the most comforting!
My
“LV” is not my Louis Vuitton; it’s
for Love and Valuing it forever!
