Joie de vivre (French pronunciation: [ʒwa də vivʁ], joy
of living) is a French phrase
often used in English to express a cheerful enjoyment of life; an exultation of
spirit. It "can be a joy of conversation,
joy of eating,
joy of anything one might do… And joie
de vivre may be seen as a joy of everything, a comprehensive joy, a
philosophy of life, a Weltanschauung.
1.
Think of the last time
you were happy. Think about what you were doing and with who you were. You
could be alone eating an ice cream, watching a movie or a match, playing with
your children, with a beloved, with your family, walking with your dog, on a
vacation, with your friends, a winning moment, your babies’ first kick or smile
or walk. Think about the joy you had at that particular moment and even when you think about it this particular moment you’re smiling.
2.
Now, think about the last time you were sad and you cried.
It could be separation, death of a closed one, a horror movie, a nightmare, a
wound or any other grave reason.
3.
Think about the last
time you were extremely scared. It could be a near death experience or a cockroach,
feeling of failure, financial worries, the health of a dear one etc.
4.
Now, think about the
last time you did not like something about someone and then became stressed or
angry - could be a shabby dress, your boss, a movie, a colleague or a neighbor,
the rash cab driver, Monday!, muddled roads after rain, traffic, someone who
was rude to you, work stress, the flab around your waist, your tiffin, stretch
marks, waiting line, appraisal comments from your boss, your marriage, family
pressure etc. (I have a point here I promise!)
Now that you have a moment with you
for each situation, compare all of them. In most of the cases we will find that
we are happy or scared or sad (first three) due to reasons which are not under
our control. BUT we are stressed and angry (fourth) due to our OWN judgements
and decisions, not circumstances and situations. We often predict and assume
dire situations and then worry. When your daughter is not home till late night and her
phone is switched off, a sane parent would file a police complaint and would
worry thinking her little princess was kidnapped and raped. We assume the extreme, all
negative thoughts conquer our mind. We think about a kinap or torture,
murders and rapes, accidents etc. This is natural. This is how we are designed
and this how we function. A father arranges the most expensive wedding for her
daughter and after everything has been perfectly done he asks the event manager
and his family – “what if it rains? what if the relatives are not happy? What if the food is
not good? When I was in first standard and I had my annual exam I started
crying and asked my mother – “what if I cannot answer even one question from
the question paper, what if all the questions come from that one chapter I
left, what if I fail!” My mother used to smile and say – It will all be good
and minutes later I would be just fine.
So it’s a proven fact that no matter
how strong we are or appear to be, we tend to worry, assume the worse and then
take stress. How can we change this? Do we need a person always by our side
saying “It will be good!”? Do we always need that sympathy from mother,
husband, friends and siblings? Do we need depression pills for our
nerves and make us unaware of the tensions we have, do we need to live in a
fictitious world and run away from reality or do we need to curse our parents
for having us and blame God for the situation we encounter? No we
don’t!
One easy way is to be hopeful,
positive and to laugh it out. Be thankful for now, be thankful for the moment. You are better off
than million others in the world and you’re the hero of your movie. Make it a
happy one. You might want complement it with some drama, romance, action
sequence, tragedy, flashy costumes, locations, songs followed by a happy ending. Love yourself and the
people around you. The more you critisise and loathe people and become judgmental about them or
assume situations with the worst outcome, the more you go away from the first
three real situations which were so different from one another yet beautiful.
The malice of judgments will sway away unquestionable feelings which you
experienced when you were happy, sad and scared with the one' s you love. Capture the beautiful moments
in your mind and try to repeat them with the same people from time to time. The Joy of Living can be experience at any
age, any time, right NOW ...till the moment you are on your death bed when flashes from your
life will give you that complete feeling. Make a wish list, work towards it and
finish it. We come with no validity, enjoy the moment with zeal and live it up!
