We often think of ourselves as the most imperative topic of the world (some of us certainly do!)
Expectation is a bitch! You expect somebody to call you on your birthday – and somebody forgets. You act funny by not reminding the person…cursing him/her and promising not wishing him/her on their birthday to make them feel how it feels to be ignored, talking ill of the other evil person who ruined your life which was once happy and peaceful before they forgot to ring you on your birthday etc. is how most (shallow people) deal with it.. Can’t we just laugh about some things thinking that the person might be a human being or react casually by saying – It’s alright…happens - a bigger gift now!” Well that is the ideal … the bookish situation.
All of us have Problems! Life would be so perfect without problems. A few problems ‘we’ come across are listed below–
1. Teething when you are tiny
2. Wisdom tooth when you are not that tiny
3. Teacher in school never took a leave while every morning you prayed for her death sincerely.
4. God hates you…No one loves you phase bleehhh
5. Crush has a girlfriend/boyfriend…no one loves you…ugly and poor are you?…bleeeh
6. Telling your parents about your girlfriend/boyfriend – knowing that they shall reject
7. Breakups – chocolate ice cream – gaining weight – sad songs and alcohol
8. No one understands me - salutation of the teen
9. Everyone understands me – now, that’s a problem too
10. My life is going nowhere – what a waste to humanity.
11. Too much work in office – makes you tired…Boss hates me…Coffee vending machine is not working…ugly politics at work…I never got the right opportunity…working for peanuts etc.
12. No work – what the hell shall I fill in the damn status sheet
13. Your family is so over protective and possessive about you – parents embarrass you!
14. In winters – you love summers…in summers – you love winters!
15. XYZ is so rude and dominating and mean! God doesn’t love me situation
16. The most important – why me?
17. Train reservations in Tatkal and cancelled leave plan by your boss
18. In laws/relatives being villains/monsters and last nerve stimulators!
19. Loss of a family member/dear ones or loss of money…property, purity or valuables
20. Why all horrible things and people stick around your neck like a dead albatross…etc.
21. What do I wear…I don’t have clothes (girls and gay applicable)
22. Being a girl is a pain – accessories and shoes crap (refer to the brackets above)
23. What if I fail…nail biting and nervous attack!
24. My efforts at work are not appreciated – the beep (censored) gets a promotion every year!
25. What if I get rejected/ignored – nail biting and nervous attack
26. On passing/acceptance/selection – how will I do this? Nail biting and nervous attack
27. Nail biting and nervous attack – on other “royal” issues!
Who decides which is a big or a small problem? For a new born, a seasonal rash or a wet diaper is the major problem and he would cry his throat out and get irritated equivalent to a housewife who lost her husband in a car accident leaving 3 kids and monster in laws behind.
We come across a million problems every day. Let us look at the brighter side here – we solve a million problems every day! But the only thing we DO NOT realize is that we spend three fourth of our time cribbing, publicizing or discussing the problem with others than gathering efforts in solving the same.
The million dollar question now - What makes us discuss our personal or someone else’s problems/issues with others? More than accepting a piece of advice from other people or doing exactly how they say – we become happy when our ego is massaged. Someone who says – ah you are doing right, stick with it is the trustworthy friend-in-need and the one who says – no, that’s wrong falls in the “you don’t love me – you snake” category.
Ultimately, you end up wasting a lot of time in the name of meaningful discussion or research and what you would have done when the problem just hit. The discussion, decision of others (that does not matter in 99.99% cases) and fickle mindedness might take a lag time of light years or minutes.
Clearly I am not denying a second opinion from the experienced or a fine research based on facts. However the spiced demonstration of your glitches and issues in the amphitheater pleading for sympathy in the name of – “I feel light when I share” is the area of concern.
Just think about the other person offering his benevolent ear to you. The person in front listens to your concerns because –
1. He is related to you and has to listen – husband/wife/family/gf/bf
2. Running short of topics for a discussion
3. What a nice time pass, I love hearing your problems – so entertaining! Makes my day…
4. Food for thought – I might learn from you (I have nothing else to do)
5. Master – slave relationship. Your problem - my job!
6. Let me have some substance to write/publish/announce at my get together at barney’s
7. Feels so good to hear your personal problems, spice it up (demo of my creativity) and vomit in front of people who matter to me (worth the effort of listening to your crap)
8. May be I can solve – No I can’t - god save you – shall chant your name in my prayers
9. Give you a lecture about how careless or irresponsible you can be (because I care?)
THE BEST – SYMPATHY DONORS – Awwwwww poor baby – too bad – awwwww. Take one more – awwwww. (are you single?) awwwwww
From the first quarter of my life (and enormously oozing wisdom), I have learnt that nobody in this freaking world can help you with your personal problems or diseases. Deal with them – Come out of them. As long as advice/suggestion or a second opinion is considered, they have that 0.01% weightage in the 99.99% decision and mindset already taken by you. If the outcome is bad we solely blame the entire thing on – she said/he told me to do so or the I thought blah blah story but only YOU are responsible for YOUR actions!
So the next time you hear a problem and become the agony aunt “think” – that the person narrating the issue would want to take his/her own decision and my nose should just sit around my face and not nudge in other’s royal issues. OR the next time you impart your problem to other’s “think” - that there are a lot of other unimportant things that the person might want to do rather than pay attention to your disease, disputes, issues or subjective cribbing!
And the golden words remain - care for your family and loves ones – be considerate not dominating. We have to make the world smart like us not a copy of us – Individuality has “I” in the beginning. Respect it – spare it.
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