I
am a feminist, and being a feminist – I was requested to write a piece on
women. Although I would never question nature, I have witnessed a few things
girls or women are petrified about and what they go through every day, of which
men are free from care.
Ever
since early years we have been imparted with etiquettes on how to sit, how to
talk or eat and how to smile gently, ‘as a good girl’. Our security is always a
concern with the crime rate turning high by the second.
Teenage
or adolescence is a catastrophe for girls – interaction with the opposite sex,
mood swings, acne, the that time, deciding main subjects for high school,
aggravation of uncertainties, exasperation and aggression, fortification from a
lot of things on one hand and the MOTHER who deals with all of that! I can
write a book on mothers – the superheroes but let me first follow the protocol.
So
when the teenage is fortunately accomplished, the college age arrives. Here our
intelligent little sunshine is now a grown-up; she is mature and takes her own
decisions, attends her classes in college, parties with her friends, studies
hard and plans her goals. She aims to pursue higher studies or picks up a job
to further her career. She has her siblings and her family by her side to
comfort her and deal with her problems. She talks to her peers and folks in
case of confusions and indecisiveness.
Be
it higher studies or job there can be diverse facets. She would either leave
her home and experience hostel life or live all by herself OR she could also
live with her parents and undergo working life. By this stage I feel, parents
and folks also grow into chilled out friends or buddies. Yes, they are
concerned and still worried but the issues are altogether poles apart than
those from school or graduation.
Life
from 24 – the parents think of settling their little girl. Giving her away to a
responsible, educated and good looking man who is seeking their convent
educated, beautiful and slim girl! Love marriage or arrange marriage – life
after wedding is same for all girls. She leaves her house formally and enters
in a new family, unaccustomed to the traditions she familiarizes with ‘his’
mother, father, siblings, relatives, pets and house help as her own. The
settling takes a little time. She gets used to it progressively, deals with a
lot of compromises and learns a lot. He on the other hand, adjusts too. She is
a working woman who is married and has to be home in time. She cannot go to
holidays and party all by herself, like she used to when she was 20, she
wouldn’t want to now because she has a husband and a family to look after and
share her life with.
Motherhood–
Time to plan a family now! Pregnancy brings a lot of insecurities in a woman,
she thinks her career will go for a toss. But it’s her decision to have a baby
and she thinks she is responsible for taking care of him. So career takes a
back seat and raising the miracle you created is a new chapter and a journey
altogether. Mothers are an epitome of patience, love and care. They know your
emotions, they know how to calm you in a matter of seconds, they are concerned
and worried for you even if you are 50 and they are the BEST innovation of God!
She raises her children and the cycle continues.
Now,
I don’t understand how women can be regarded as a weaker gender because we are
made to endure pain and explore motherhood naturally. We have our own fears
even as a little girl and we have the will power to take care of a lot of
things at the same time. It’s in our DNA.
I
am not criticising men, but it is momentous that men endow her with that
ecosystem in which a woman would flourish. Do not make her cry and do not
disrespect her for her ideals are as important as yours. Your lady deserves
your time and respect. Do not abuse her – sexually or mentally. Domestic
Violence is not what she expected when she was keeping karwachauth for your
long life. She is an epitome of compassion and love. A lady created you, but
still a lady has to carry a pepper spray while walking on the road. She is
attractive, beautiful and dresses up the way she likes, which undoubtedly
becomes her own fault because she is accused of provoking men! She is looked at
by a rowdy man on the road as a piece of meat and when she objects and
challenges him, she gets her “lesson”. When she takes public transport, she is
scared for the male driver could do “anything” to her. She avoids all secluded
places and roads because she is scared. She has to be home before dark because
it is not safe alone. Her chain or mangalsutra could be snatched on the roads
by a man, she can be raped by a man who could also be a husband/ son or a
brother and would leave a grave mark and a wound on some other lady with pride!
Probably that’s his need, but the ladies life would be at stake. Why can’t we
realize to protect and respect the lady instead of gawking at her and making
her look cheap. Don’t make her timid by snatching her confidence and
self-esteem with that chain of hers. Checking out chicks and bird-watching
isn’t a hobby. Respect a lady. Trust me for a woman it’s nice to be made to feel like
a queen, like a LADY!
