Sassy - Not Trashy!

I am a feminist, and being a feminist – I was requested to write a piece on women. Although I would never question nature, I have witnessed a few things girls or women are petrified about and what they go through every day, of which men are free from care.

Ever since early years we have been imparted with etiquettes on how to sit, how to talk or eat and how to smile gently, ‘as a good girl’. Our security is always a concern with the crime rate turning high by the second.

Teenage or adolescence is a catastrophe for girls – interaction with the opposite sex, mood swings, acne, the that time, deciding main subjects for high school, aggravation of uncertainties, exasperation and aggression, fortification from a lot of things on one hand and the MOTHER who deals with all of that! I can write a book on mothers – the superheroes but let me first follow the protocol.

So when the teenage is fortunately accomplished, the college age arrives. Here our intelligent little sunshine is now a grown-up; she is mature and takes her own decisions, attends her classes in college, parties with her friends, studies hard and plans her goals. She aims to pursue higher studies or picks up a job to further her career. She has her siblings and her family by her side to comfort her and deal with her problems. She talks to her peers and folks in case of confusions and indecisiveness.

Be it higher studies or job there can be diverse facets. She would either leave her home and experience hostel life or live all by herself OR she could also live with her parents and undergo working life. By this stage I feel, parents and folks also grow into chilled out friends or buddies. Yes, they are concerned and still worried but the issues are altogether poles apart than those from school or graduation.

Life from 24 – the parents think of settling their little girl. Giving her away to a responsible, educated and good looking man who is seeking their convent educated, beautiful and slim girl! Love marriage or arrange marriage – life after wedding is same for all girls. She leaves her house formally and enters in a new family, unaccustomed to the traditions she familiarizes with ‘his’ mother, father, siblings, relatives, pets and house help as her own. The settling takes a little time. She gets used to it progressively, deals with a lot of compromises and learns a lot. He on the other hand, adjusts too. She is a working woman who is married and has to be home in time. She cannot go to holidays and party all by herself, like she used to when she was 20, she wouldn’t want to now because she has a husband and a family to look after and share her life with.

Motherhood– Time to plan a family now! Pregnancy brings a lot of insecurities in a woman, she thinks her career will go for a toss. But it’s her decision to have a baby and she thinks she is responsible for taking care of him. So career takes a back seat and raising the miracle you created is a new chapter and a journey altogether. Mothers are an epitome of patience, love and care. They know your emotions, they know how to calm you in a matter of seconds, they are concerned and worried for you even if you are 50 and they are the BEST innovation of God! She raises her children and the cycle continues.

Now, I don’t understand how women can be regarded as a weaker gender because we are made to endure pain and explore motherhood naturally. We have our own fears even as a little girl and we have the will power to take care of a lot of things at the same time. It’s in our DNA.

I am not criticising men, but it is momentous that men endow her with that ecosystem in which a woman would flourish. Do not make her cry and do not disrespect her for her ideals are as important as yours. Your lady deserves your time and respect. Do not abuse her – sexually or mentally. Domestic Violence is not what she expected when she was keeping karwachauth for your long life. She is an epitome of compassion and love. A lady created you, but still a lady has to carry a pepper spray while walking on the road. She is attractive, beautiful and dresses up the way she likes, which undoubtedly becomes her own fault because she is accused of provoking men! She is looked at by a rowdy man on the road as a piece of meat and when she objects and challenges him, she gets her “lesson”. When she takes public transport, she is scared for the male driver could do “anything” to her. She avoids all secluded places and roads because she is scared. She has to be home before dark because it is not safe alone. Her chain or mangalsutra could be snatched on the roads by a man, she can be raped by a man who could also be a husband/ son or a brother and would leave a grave mark and a wound on some other lady with pride! Probably that’s his need, but the ladies life would be at stake. Why can’t we realize to protect and respect the lady instead of gawking at her and making her look cheap. Don’t make her timid by snatching her confidence and self-esteem with that chain of hers. Checking out chicks and bird-watching isn’t a hobby. Respect a lady. Trust me for a woman it’s nice to be made to feel like a queen, like a LADY!