The itch

One fine day on a work from home something itched below her waist, is it a rash? Is it something else? She faced the window so she had a clear view and there it was!!! She was shocked! The new mother with a lot of weight, despised being body shamed every now and then. Some would say household chores will make you slim, some would say you looked like a model before, some commented, so much time has passed but you haven’t shed that baby weight, some blamed the virus for gyms not being open and also came surplous unasked suggestions like herbal tea in the morning, running, ashtang yoga, giving up carbs and sugar, aerobics and Zumba! With all of this she was in the game - maintained her calm, resumed work, did her chores and taught new things to the munchkin everyday. Life becomes so redundant with the same chores doesn’t it? As the time passed, the child in her started becoming old, maturing with the monotony of chores.

The moment she looked down, she discovered something absurd today.  Shocked and elated and and to her surprise her soul became alive with what she saw. Shiny Leopard stripes in broad day light! And whats more interesting? Underneath her belly there lied a protracted streak. The stiches shined and the surgery wound now healed and pigmented looked so bright. She gazed at the scar, smiled and smiled and saw it yet again till she became conscious. My bubba came from here! I should be awarded, I made life and the doctor sealed me and there I am with victory marks on my body! A warrior with warrior scars which will always make me happy, she thought. She looked at her left and there lied a bunch of stretch mark creams – ah mothercare, forest essentials, bio oil and shea butter – listen you expensive stretch mark removal creams, she screamed. I like my scars and they made me realize I am no less than a superwoman!

Never did she get the time or sense to look at her marks and give a thought to them. Blindly after bathing she would moisturize herself and like a bot continue her chores repetitively. The next 10 minutes she was in awe, as the nine months of her gravidity, just ran through her memory lane, the ultrasounds and the morning sickness, the cravings and gobbling like a dinosaur, her husband pampering her with foot massages for her feet would swell like never before. Peeing in every 2 minutes and repeat. Seeing the baby for the first time, those tiny hands and feet. Those tears of happiness and admiration. Being paranoid about everything, the back and neck pain and the sleepless nights. The first word and the first tooth, EVERYTHING!  

She couldn’t help it but lifted her shirt up for the second time, looked her victory marks and smiled again! 

The itch vanished but the smile remained.

The struggle of not being XYZ

Today we are going to talk about why are you not better than XYZ!

• Out of the thousands of sperms the fastest and the fittest sperm lands in the egg

• Only a healthy fetus survives in the womb else it leads to a miscarriage

• Every pregnancy is different, some moms to be puke, some don’t, some crave for somethings, some don’t. some become too fat some gain only a few kilos.

• When a child is born, some resemble the mother or mothers side, some the father or the fathers side, some are completely different. The growth, weight, genetics and looks of the babies are different. Still XYZ sleeps throughout the night while others cry.

• Children throughout the months take their own time with Crawling, teething, speaking and walking, they are compared with others since the beginning the XYZ had taken out his teeth before, XYZ crawled first, XYZ walked first…

• In school, your name should be on the black board because XYZ is smart and intelligent

• You need to crack more than 85% because XYZ is good at maths and you need an overall good percentage

• You choose a profession and copy the footsteps of XYZ because XYZ is better than yoU

• You earn and marry because XYZ earns more than you.

• If you are a girl, XYZ is more talented, “sanskari’ and prettier than you and she would believe in an arranged marriage

• If you are a guy XYZ would always earn more than you and would marry the XYZ girl as above

• Raising your children, having a dream house, car and personality like XYZ, vacationing like XYZ

• Having a daughter in law or son in law like XYZ

• Having a wheelchair and a hospital facility like XYZ

• Having the same last rites as XYZ, same teak wood coffin maybe…

Reality check –

The XYZ may always look good, literally XYZ would have the best relationships, would look so good, would have the best of all the above but YOU don’t need to be anyone else. We have this in ourselves, we compare and get compared to so many people throughout our lives that we don’t believe in ourselves.

Its wonderful to be perfectly imperfect, little imperfections make one so beautiful. Everyone has a sad story and everyone has their own battles, baggage and failures, I bet even XYZ is imperfect. We stoop so low that we even think that someone else’s parents are better than ours! Trust me those perfect, happy and over enthusiastic parents can never be compared to our real ones because they never felt us in their arms, they never cleaned our dirty diapers and they never saw us in sickness and health.

All throughout our lives we struggle to embrace our imperfections and to get accepted, because XYZ is always appreciated and we are ignored. As a parent, child, in-law, brother, sister, boss, colleague, friend or relative CHANGE THIS TODAY. Try the following –

• Appreciate the hard work

• Criticize without hurting ones feelings

• Step yourself in some one else’s shoes and then give your royal gyan

• Don’t sprinkle your opinions everywhere

• DO NOT force your child to do stuff (like juggling with knives and breathing fire, OR like reciting poems and dancing infront of everyone, your child is not in circus)

• Stop complaining about things

• Most important - Never compare anyone with others

What do I become when I grow up…

In times like these when people are dying of a pandemic, there’s one thing that we can try to become – Grateful! The people who are fretting at home, becoming irritated and frustrated that they cannot go out dressed, to eat at their favorite restaurant, grooming in their desired salons, dining and drinking with friends and their loved ones, watching a movie and bowling, shopping in malls, running marathons and street food ..do not realize that till April 22^nd 2010 there have been around 18000 deaths worldwide and around 25 lac corona virus cases around the globe. With the numbers increasing, should we be HAPPY about we being at home, safe and getting food and dairy every day OR shall we continue being small minded and whine a little more?

Policemen, doctors, nurses, pharmaceuticals, sanitary workers and essential grocery stores are saving us each day and are fulfilling our daily needs by risking their lives. Just standing out in the balcony for one day and making sounds with your utensils doesn’t mean the gratitude is over. The ones who are still breaking laws out there and not realizing the consequences of the corona virus, are the most unwise people around. And NOW people who have the audacity to crib and sulk over the options available to them need some serious therapy!

I mean put yourself in the shoes of God for 2 minutes, just two minutes. There you are with a decent house, family lives with you, you eat normal food every day, you get the food you eat easily available to you. You have a family and a job maybe and a steady source of income. So, there your prayer to God goes “God! When will the lock-down ever end? God, I can’t tolerate the people in my house, God I want to go out, it’s very frustrating at home. Consequently, God listens to your royal needs and answers - You know what? Let me take this away from you so that you realize that you are so blessed, you thankless prick (I’m sure God will be a little sweet with his words). Do you even deserve what you have? What about businessmen and entrepreneurs whose daily source of income is shut. What about the families whose siblings, spouses and parents are infected? What about the essential services workers like doctors, policemen etc. who have not seen their own children, spouses and parents for months? When things happen with us, we crib that why do bad things happen to us and when we are safe inside our houses, we crib that why can’t we go out?

So, what do we want to become? An ungrateful and unhappy forever cribbing person or a self-content person who’s happy to be alive and lives in the present with full enthusiasm and zeal. Your choice.

Being a limited edition

A very few people love crows, pigeons or potatoes. They’re common and all over the place …talking of common, common salt has the word common in it, but, it sure is one of the most essential and important ingredients when it comes to cooking. Now, it is not the fault of crows or pigeons or potatoes because they are effortlessly found, its just that they don’t have an impact! Now nature is such that one cannot compare crows to peacocks or potatoes to cottage cheese but human beings are not vegetables or birds! We are what we become. My point here is that a lot of us live in the rat race, to please others, to reply every message, to cook everyone’s favorite, to upload the photos that we cooked (we all do that :)), to become social media influencers, because everyone is becoming one. Don’t we just love to follow the fashion that is trending? Sometimes it’s uncomfortable or unbearable. Whom are we trying to impress? Why do we want an affirmation to everything we do? Why do we want to fit in? Now we can’t make everyone happy right? NEVER! NO WAY. There will always be those haters, grumpy, sad and ungrateful faces no matter what. So, lets try and be us and not enter a marathon.

What is it to be exclusive they ask, being exclusive is not being different and definitely not trying to be different. I had a friend who dyed her hair pink, covered her arms with tattoo, pierced her lips, nose, navel and ears (maybe more organs who knows) and suddenly started hearing punk music, made sure the tattoos spell rebel. People looked at her as if they were looking at an endangered species at a zoo.  Maybe that’s the character she wanted to be in. I say why not, better than a lot of us who don’t preach what we do but make sure to upload fake stories and examples of how one should be living!

Being exclusive is getting in touch with yourself and asking yourself, what do you want SOUL? What do YOU want to become? Were you born to fit in? OR were you born to live life at your own terms. If there was no social media, what would you be? I’d write on a paper, I still do that 😊 but is the affirmation of your followers, the likes and hearts of your online so called friends is all that’s keeping you alive? Bury your mobile for a day. Keep it on loud and just pick up important calls. See how that feels. Some of us wouldn't know what to do while some of us would explore something new.

Think about it…