The struggle of not being XYZ

Today we are going to talk about why are you not better than XYZ!

• Out of the thousands of sperms the fastest and the fittest sperm lands in the egg

• Only a healthy fetus survives in the womb else it leads to a miscarriage

• Every pregnancy is different, some moms to be puke, some don’t, some crave for somethings, some don’t. some become too fat some gain only a few kilos.

• When a child is born, some resemble the mother or mothers side, some the father or the fathers side, some are completely different. The growth, weight, genetics and looks of the babies are different. Still XYZ sleeps throughout the night while others cry.

• Children throughout the months take their own time with Crawling, teething, speaking and walking, they are compared with others since the beginning the XYZ had taken out his teeth before, XYZ crawled first, XYZ walked first…

• In school, your name should be on the black board because XYZ is smart and intelligent

• You need to crack more than 85% because XYZ is good at maths and you need an overall good percentage

• You choose a profession and copy the footsteps of XYZ because XYZ is better than yoU

• You earn and marry because XYZ earns more than you.

• If you are a girl, XYZ is more talented, “sanskari’ and prettier than you and she would believe in an arranged marriage

• If you are a guy XYZ would always earn more than you and would marry the XYZ girl as above

• Raising your children, having a dream house, car and personality like XYZ, vacationing like XYZ

• Having a daughter in law or son in law like XYZ

• Having a wheelchair and a hospital facility like XYZ

• Having the same last rites as XYZ, same teak wood coffin maybe…

Reality check –

The XYZ may always look good, literally XYZ would have the best relationships, would look so good, would have the best of all the above but YOU don’t need to be anyone else. We have this in ourselves, we compare and get compared to so many people throughout our lives that we don’t believe in ourselves.

Its wonderful to be perfectly imperfect, little imperfections make one so beautiful. Everyone has a sad story and everyone has their own battles, baggage and failures, I bet even XYZ is imperfect. We stoop so low that we even think that someone else’s parents are better than ours! Trust me those perfect, happy and over enthusiastic parents can never be compared to our real ones because they never felt us in their arms, they never cleaned our dirty diapers and they never saw us in sickness and health.

All throughout our lives we struggle to embrace our imperfections and to get accepted, because XYZ is always appreciated and we are ignored. As a parent, child, in-law, brother, sister, boss, colleague, friend or relative CHANGE THIS TODAY. Try the following –

• Appreciate the hard work

• Criticize without hurting ones feelings

• Step yourself in some one else’s shoes and then give your royal gyan

• Don’t sprinkle your opinions everywhere

• DO NOT force your child to do stuff (like juggling with knives and breathing fire, OR like reciting poems and dancing infront of everyone, your child is not in circus)

• Stop complaining about things

• Most important - Never compare anyone with others

What do I become when I grow up…

In times like these when people are dying of a pandemic, there’s one thing that we can try to become – Grateful! The people who are fretting at home, becoming irritated and frustrated that they cannot go out dressed, to eat at their favorite restaurant, grooming in their desired salons, dining and drinking with friends and their loved ones, watching a movie and bowling, shopping in malls, running marathons and street food ..do not realize that till April 22^nd 2010 there have been around 18000 deaths worldwide and around 25 lac corona virus cases around the globe. With the numbers increasing, should we be HAPPY about we being at home, safe and getting food and dairy every day OR shall we continue being small minded and whine a little more?

Policemen, doctors, nurses, pharmaceuticals, sanitary workers and essential grocery stores are saving us each day and are fulfilling our daily needs by risking their lives. Just standing out in the balcony for one day and making sounds with your utensils doesn’t mean the gratitude is over. The ones who are still breaking laws out there and not realizing the consequences of the corona virus, are the most unwise people around. And NOW people who have the audacity to crib and sulk over the options available to them need some serious therapy!

I mean put yourself in the shoes of God for 2 minutes, just two minutes. There you are with a decent house, family lives with you, you eat normal food every day, you get the food you eat easily available to you. You have a family and a job maybe and a steady source of income. So, there your prayer to God goes “God! When will the lock-down ever end? God, I can’t tolerate the people in my house, God I want to go out, it’s very frustrating at home. Consequently, God listens to your royal needs and answers - You know what? Let me take this away from you so that you realize that you are so blessed, you thankless prick (I’m sure God will be a little sweet with his words). Do you even deserve what you have? What about businessmen and entrepreneurs whose daily source of income is shut. What about the families whose siblings, spouses and parents are infected? What about the essential services workers like doctors, policemen etc. who have not seen their own children, spouses and parents for months? When things happen with us, we crib that why do bad things happen to us and when we are safe inside our houses, we crib that why can’t we go out?

So, what do we want to become? An ungrateful and unhappy forever cribbing person or a self-content person who’s happy to be alive and lives in the present with full enthusiasm and zeal. Your choice.

Being a limited edition

A very few people love crows, pigeons or potatoes. They’re common and all over the place …talking of common, common salt has the word common in it, but, it sure is one of the most essential and important ingredients when it comes to cooking. Now, it is not the fault of crows or pigeons or potatoes because they are effortlessly found, its just that they don’t have an impact! Now nature is such that one cannot compare crows to peacocks or potatoes to cottage cheese but human beings are not vegetables or birds! We are what we become. My point here is that a lot of us live in the rat race, to please others, to reply every message, to cook everyone’s favorite, to upload the photos that we cooked (we all do that :)), to become social media influencers, because everyone is becoming one. Don’t we just love to follow the fashion that is trending? Sometimes it’s uncomfortable or unbearable. Whom are we trying to impress? Why do we want an affirmation to everything we do? Why do we want to fit in? Now we can’t make everyone happy right? NEVER! NO WAY. There will always be those haters, grumpy, sad and ungrateful faces no matter what. So, lets try and be us and not enter a marathon.

What is it to be exclusive they ask, being exclusive is not being different and definitely not trying to be different. I had a friend who dyed her hair pink, covered her arms with tattoo, pierced her lips, nose, navel and ears (maybe more organs who knows) and suddenly started hearing punk music, made sure the tattoos spell rebel. People looked at her as if they were looking at an endangered species at a zoo.  Maybe that’s the character she wanted to be in. I say why not, better than a lot of us who don’t preach what we do but make sure to upload fake stories and examples of how one should be living!

Being exclusive is getting in touch with yourself and asking yourself, what do you want SOUL? What do YOU want to become? Were you born to fit in? OR were you born to live life at your own terms. If there was no social media, what would you be? I’d write on a paper, I still do that 😊 but is the affirmation of your followers, the likes and hearts of your online so called friends is all that’s keeping you alive? Bury your mobile for a day. Keep it on loud and just pick up important calls. See how that feels. Some of us wouldn't know what to do while some of us would explore something new.

Think about it…

Whats up OR Watsapp

This is not a personal blog, a very few people know me personally. I would say around 12...well maybe 15 if I must take a whole number. I had discontinued what I loved the most. Well they say that the pen is mightier than the sword, I say…when people are blurting their opinions everywhere one more would not count and who am I kidding, swords? We have people killing their own kind in places of worship and live streaming it on social media. Therefore, it’s all very upsetting and deeply inacceptable.

Indian elections are near, and the esteemed citizens of India must decide who will rule their country. I mean, we cannot make mistakes like other countries and then repent for a very long time on the decisions of the ruling party. We make the ruling party, isn’t that enough, so liberating? But let’s see what are we doing about it? Of course, we are sharing memes and vines on social media specially the abuse of communication. We have this basic requirement which is WhatsApp which takes most of our precious time, by forwarding crap and making sure those poor ones with a lesser memory card have to clean it every second day. Those silent groups, festival messages and oh what the hell messages. Apps like tik tok or dubsmash or the world-famous games suck our energy. Where do we express our anger and happiness? We type it! Where do we bitch about people? On groups who don’t have the same person for sure, it’s very entertaining isn’t it? What is wrong with our language? Nothing much, just words and abbreviations are getting shorter with hashtags. Oh that’s “adorbs”, “FOMO”,”OOTD”,”slay”,”savage”, I personally do not have a problem with any of this, its just the generation gap that bothers me all the time. I feel in the next 15 years there would be a whole other language that I would have to learn in order to converse with my children. My other concerns are lesser phone calls and more watsapping, do you know that a WhatsApp document is now taken as a court proof and if someone has to be summoned, he/she could be summoned via WhatsApp? STRANGE, I feel this is because of the usability of the mode that people are indeed saying, ok whatever its cheap and atleast it wouldn’t go unread, for you become inattentive or impolite if those two blue ticks are not seen by the other person. ENOUGH I say, Enough of this and lets start living like our parents and grand parents did without technology “for just a while”

So lets see what changes ca we bring to have “more time” which can be better “utilized” for binge watching or connecting with people.

1.       Start calling relatives/ family/ friends more often

2.       Try to have a more refined vocabulary than cutting short existing words

3.       Start playing real games – outdoor games not PUBG in a park

4.       If the world wont change by political leaders, YOU take an initiative (don’t pee on the roads, litter or stop someone spit on the roads, educate children who cannot study, stop giving bribe, try to make your neighborhood safer and cleaner)

5.       Vent your emotions out to friends and family (not colleagues, no one cares)

6.       Invest your talent in a hobby, it helps channelize one’s energies

7.       Have one day every week, start by one day a week as a digital detox where you just receive phone calls and do not read messages/ emails/ facebook/ twitter/ Instagram handles. Explore a new place without going to Zomato or visit the one which you always like, watch a film by not reading the IMDB rating or the rotten tomatoes reading and have your own perspective to it. Read a book by not going to GoodReads, choose one from the book shop and not a recommended one. Connect with yourself one day a week.

After Interval

Thinking to write again...has been a year!
Let us see ...

The Bread Owner

And sometimes the day just goes by...

Thinks, “Is this exactly the way I shall die?”

Morning, Cereal, Traffic, work, Brunch,

Grapevine, pending emails and lunch!

More work with coffee, rush home and eat,

Polish shoes and take out clothes so neat!

This shall go on and on until one retires,

Medicines, grandchildren, till one expires.

My lady says “It’s called “Being No More”,

I wonder “Is this life worth it, am I sure?”

Where are those moments and memories?

Those weekends, Ludo scores in their diaries.

Spend time with them, just not by making money,

With mobile and laptops, life shall just pass honey!

My soul will be lost if I don’t do anything worthwhile,

Those first words, lost romance, taking an extra mile!

Did I spend my whole life worrying about everything?

That promotion, big car, house and money by the blink…

Every New Year, a resolution to spend time at home,

Ask someone who lost is dear ones and is all alone.

Oh Bread Owner, give them your precious time today,

The cost of your little one’s smile, will be too much to pay!

The Trial

There was once a girl named, well you can call her Taloola (because that’s a very fancy name but has to be taken very seriously since she’s the main character here) Taloola was a very polite, fragile and an introvert girl. When Taloola was 3, she liked being under beds, tables and benches and used to enjoy solitude. When Taloola was 8, she went to the temple with her father who was very noble, kind, was working in a bank and was also known for his wisdom and high character in the neighbourhood. Outside the temple, Taloola saw a huge queue of crippled and disabled men and women who were begging for Prasad and money. She suddenly asked her father – “Papa when I am young, can I marry one of these men? Who would marry them? I will marry a disabled man and take care of him”

Taloola’s father looked at her and said “My little princess, you are getting the best of education, you have the best of everything so you should also aim for getting the best in your life partner. One does not marry for feeling pity or out of sympathy or money, one marries for respect, love and companionship. Help one another and be kind but not at your own cost.” Taloola thought her father was being protective about her and was not saying the right thing at that time…

Years passed and Taloola became a successful lawyer. She was good looking, an extrovert, people loved her and would come from all over the city to talk to her. She would win cases and get laurels from people and her bosses at work. She was popular for all good reasons and was ruling her age, looks, carrier and her love life was blossoming, she wanted to be single at the moment because of her work commitments and travel but had big plans for marriage and life after marriage.

One day as Taloola was fighting a murder case for a woman, she put her heart and soul in the case but lost the case and the criminal was fled free. She was also humiliated in the court by a senior lawyer. No one had ever insulted her before. The criminal who fled free, threatened her openly inside the court and blackmailed her for murdering her beloved family and raping her younger sister. After the trial, she looked at a corner and started crying profusely. She tried taking help from her seniors but they were either busy or did not want to put their feet in dirt as the criminal was very notorious and dangerous. Taloola felt helpless, in some time she decided to leave her law practice, she stopped eating properly, seldom took calls from her family and would always hold herself responsible for everything wrong that happened around her. One day Talloolas mother called her up at 3 am to inform her that her father was no more, he got a heart stroke and died on the spot. Taloola was dumb struck and strated crying profusely. Her condition worsened now, she would cry for hours. She was so depressed that she wanted to die, the doctors couldn’t make her eat. Her personality changed, she would again like solitude and wouldn’t talk to people, and she started looking weak and started avoiding her family, relatives and friends.

One night Taloola dreamt that she was young again and was talking to her father, her father said “hi princess? Remember you wanted to marry a disabled man when you were young? And I told you to get the best since you are the best??” Taloola nodded in her sleep.  “Life is tough for people who have acquired diseases and are disabled or are born with them, but look at you my darling! You have lovely hands, feet, a perfect body and a healthy brain, you’re privileged my child, make the most of it. Value yourself and your body and take care of it. We have to be strong and balanced in life. Life moves on, it never stops. It can be like a gamble sometimes because we don’t know what next is in store for us, it’s exciting when we win and take chances. We give our best every time but failure is natural and in case we do not succeed, think of other options, move on, and have a plan B, because there’s only one life that we have, make that memorable J”

Taloola slept for hours that day, it was like a message from God that enlightened her. Next morning Taloola got up with full zeal and the first thing that she did was to have breakfast, it was like she was hungry since ages. She went to work and faced the world. Day one was not bad she realized. She applied for self defence classes in the evening and started calling her family often. She fought for justice and all the cases she lost she made sure she learnt from each one of them. She tried not to repeat her mistakes and was back being the most awesome person she was.