The Closure

We exchange notes with a lot of people everywhere. Some are bound to stay some don’t. Acquaintances, common friends, people whom we greet, say hi’s within our workplace or external teams, neighbor’s neighbors, distant relatives, people whom you meet while travelling – in the metro, stuck at traffic signal, helps, cable guy, cute guy from the store, wrong numbers, vendors, shopkeepers, consultants, doctors, in the gym, at the club, in the swimming pool, drivers, guides, hair dressers, masseuses, nurses, hotel housekeeping staff, receptionists, security guys, car poolers, gardeners, your driving instructor, traffic police men, people who share cabs with you or that guy who collects money in front of public conveniences, ticket collectors, teachers, invigilators, IT team, people you just meet once or twice and then never…

On the other hand, in a parallel world, there exists those people whom you meet once and they have an imprint in your mind forever. If this lot disappears all of a sudden then one expects a ‘closure’. One gets a shock - How could he/she go missing? A loved one met with an accident and dies on the spot, astounded family and relatives question for a closure or the guy you love or are in a relationship with says I shall call and never calls makes you demand  a conclusion. Why wouldn’t he/she call me? Why would the person disappear from my life all of a sudden? Why would the person not answer my calls…why? The very thought would make you think, miss that person whom you have met once or may be never but has mistreated you by not accepting your calls and being rude to you. You would want him because he wouldn’t pay any attention to your madness for him. Or that interview clearance call from your dream organization that rejected you after the first round and said – “we will get back to you”, you would wait. Makes one gullible, like that puppy that was fed with milk and cookies by the owner for a few days, is at present kicked and mistreated, but still wags his tail and returns to the owner in search of food or love.

So, is a closure significant? Lets see, if the person/ thing that once made your world goes missing or is omitted all of a sudden, you would search. If the situation is out of your radar, say death or permanent damage or an intentional good bye then LET GO. We often have the tendency to fall in the same trap over and over again (the milk and cookie fed to a puppy example) and in the end of the entire episode which is bound to relapse, hurt ourselves or end up being emotionless, not trusting people or even worse, embrace pretension. Remember - “If people or things do not come back to you they were never yours”, living in false hope is a crime. Meera married lord Krishna who was well, God.

Time and again people hold on to someone and spend their lives thinking about them, comparing other people to the mentally married person, holding on to thoughts and expecting to get back to times they were once in. Similar situation is when people hold on to emotions or grudges for quite some time and grumble all the while. Trust you me, the other person would have no feelings or even the tiniest of clue as to what are you thinking or are cribbing about. Unless, you make your grieves rather apparent and believe in giving a theater performance to every single person who knows you and gain what was that petty thing you call – “sympathy”.

Often people tend getting physically hurt in order to gain sympathy over petty issues they would like to cover them up with. For instance – Little Jhonny broke a crystal vase and he sure knows that he shall be in trouble and grounded, however, when his mommy arrives – he would start crying and say, ah I have hurt my ankle so that the potential attention is diverted to his ankle and not the shattered crystal on the floor. Seeking sympathy is easy and there, closure becomes easy. Similar is the case with depression, we hide away from our feelings and start hurting our thinking process and our brain for mishaps and unfortunate circumstances that have occurred in our lives. Move on and let go. A mother left her daughter when she got divorced and mum and daughter were never in touch throughout their life. Mother married again, daughter lived with her father and step mom. She lived with a trust of closure but what did she hope for – nothing? If you say why does it always happen to me – there is always a “why not” glued to it. The bravery award goes to the one who handles all the why not’s in the most “let me not waste my time thinking about the closure, rather start afresh” way!

Closure is a waste of time, closure is not forever momentous, closure is not for the one’s you meet once or for someone who never reciprocates or those who treat you like anybody or an option rather “time pass”. Life goes on and one should move one without insisting on an appropriate finale. People come and go, life – goes on! If your words were a painting and you happen to write or say it to someone who just left you midway and never cared to come back, then that painting would always be incomplete and the canvas which is your life shall never be utilized. “The end” is not always important because there could be a new, better story that would just pop up to brighten your life.