A Door Always Open

Ten years ago, I stood at the edge of a decision that felt like standing at the edge of the world.

There was a man who loved me. And I loved him back. But love alone never quieted the questions that lived in my chest at 3am.

Would he stay the same? Would his family hold space for mine? Would he see my brother, my siblings and choose them too?

This isn't a story about doubt. It's a story about what held me while I doubted.

My grandfather was eighty-five years old. A man who had seen enough of life to know that happiness is never guaranteed and that a woman's willingness to endure is both her greatest strength and her most dangerous gift.

He looked at me and said something I will carry until my last breath:

I know who you are. I know how you were raised. You will adjust that's just who you are. But that is also what frightens me. So hear me: if you are ever unhappy, if you ever feel unseen, if you ever feel small in a space that was supposed to make you feel loved our door is open. For a day. For a month. Forever. You will always have somewhere to come home to."

He didn't tell me who to choose.

He made sure I knew I would never be trapped by my own grace.

And I've learned ten years in what a working marriage actually feels like.

It feels like standing beside someone's dream even when it isn't yours. Showing up when they're ill, when their mother is ill, when the world is heavy and nobody is asking you to carry any of it but you do, because love doesn't wait to be asked. You do something extra. Something quiet. Something no one will applaud you for. And that selfless love the kind that asks for nothing in return that is the kind that builds something real.

And a good partner? They don't have to be told either. If they want to show up for you, they will. Not because you demanded it. Because love, when it's genuine, moves on its own.

That is marriage. When two people choose each other not out of habit, not out of fear but out of a mutual, unspoken yes

There is respect that doesn't have to be negotiated. Self-worth that neither of you dismantles in the other. Families that don't draw blood with their words. No abuse not with hands, not with silence, not with the slow erosion of who you are. You stand up for each other. You stand up as yourselves.

But let me also tell you what marriage is not.

Marriage is not the version of yourself that only exists when they're watching.

It is not the long exhale you take the moment you walk out the door that relief of not having to pretend anymore. Of not having to make yourself smaller, quieter, palatable. Of not having to lie just to keep the peace.

If you feel more like yourself without them than with them that is not a rough patch. That is a sign.

And I know what you're thinking. The children. The families. The years already spent.

I hear you. I do. But hear this too:

You are allowed to have a Plan B.

Not because you've failed. Not because love wasn't real. But because you are real and you deserve a life where you don't have to disappear inside it.

And before I leave, I need to say something I mean with my whole heart.

This is not only a woman's story.

I have watched men break too. Quietly. Behind closed doors, behind composed faces, behind the silence that the world never thinks to check on. Men who loved completely, who gave everything, who chose a partner with hope and slowly lost themselves in the wrong hands. Men who had their self-worth stripped from them piece by piece and were never handed a language to describe the damage.

Men have every right to stand up for themselves. For their peace. For their dignity. For the family they are trying to protect including protecting themselves.

This is not about sides.

This is about souls. And every soul deserves to be safe.

So if you are in a partnership any partnership and something in you already knows it isn't working, I want you to consider this gently but urgently:

Talk. Seek help. Find mutual ground if it exists. And if it doesn't - 

Leave.

Leave with your dignity. Leave with your children's future in mind. Leave without bitterness if you can. But leave.

Because there is always always another way forward.

Ending your life is never the solution. Never. Not when the world still has a version of you it hasn't met yet. Not when your children still need to see what it looks like to choose yourself. Not when somewhere, on the other side of this pain, there is a quieter, truer, freer life waiting.

The door is open.

It was always open.

Walk through it.

The Blank Canvas

 Aren’t we all born as blank canvases?

Well… yes and no.

Sure, we arrive with a genetic blueprint—our DNA, our lineage, the ancestral whispers embedded in our cells. But that’s just the underpainting. The real masterpiece begins when life picks up the brush.

From the moment we take our first breath, the world starts to paint on us. Parents, siblings, teachers, friends, neighbors, even the grumpy uncle who always complains about the Wi-Fi—each one adds a stroke. Some are bold and bright, others subtle and shadowy. And then there are those invisible brushstrokes—the words of encouragement, the gentle nudges, the “You’ve got this!” whispered into our ears during moments of doubt. These become our inner monologue, our guiding principles, our emotional GPS.

Ever wondered why some people seem to carry calm like a second skin, while others are like soda cans shaken one too many times? Is it temperament? Or is it the echo of voices they’ve heard growing up—voices that either lifted them or let them down?

Let’s be honest. Parenting is a wild, beautiful, chaotic art form. One moment you’re calmly explaining why licking the floor is not a great idea, and the next you’re threatening to cancel birthday parties, confiscate screen time, or call in the big guns—“I’ll tell your father!”

It’s a cycle. A dance. A crescendo of escalating tones:

“That’s not nice.”

“Please don’t do that.”

“I said no.”

“I’m serious now.”

“Okay, that’s it!”

And then… we reset. Back to square one. Can we break this cycle? Probably not. Did our parents? Nope. Do we love them any less for it? Absolutely not.

Because here’s the thing—every parent, whether human or hedgehog, wants the best for their offspring. Even a lioness teaches her cubs to hunt, not just to survive, but to thrive. And in our human jungle, we try to do the same—teach kindness, empathy, resilience, manners, and the art of saying “thank you” without rolling our eyes.

But the window is short. Blink, and they’re off to school. Blink again, and they’re taller than you, borrowing your charger and questioning your music taste. During this fleeting time, the canvas absorbs everything—not just the good habits, but the quirks, the sarcasm, the eye-rolls, the street smarts. It’s all part of the painting.

And what a painting it becomes.

Some canvases end up in boardrooms, others in classrooms, hospitals, studios, or tucked away in cozy homes. Some are displayed proudly in galleries of success, while others wait patiently in storerooms of potential. Some are abstract, some hyper-realistic. Some are layered with experience, others splashed with spontaneity. There are acrylics that withstand storms, and watercolors that fade but never lose their charm.

And just like art, we are open to interpretation:

Your spouse might have to tilt their head to understand you.

Your siblings might see a completely different picture.

Strangers might admire your bold strokes or question your color choices.

But every canvas tells a story.

Yes, there will be patches—mistakes covered up, regrets painted over. The varnish might wear thin with age, but the essence remains. A life lived, a journey painted, a soul expressed.

So, whether you’re a minimalist sketch or a riot of colors, remember this:

You are art.

You are evolving.

You are a canvas in progress.

And someday, somewhere, someone will look at your painting and say, “Wow. That’s a masterpiece.”

 

My feet...My Shoes!

They were meeting for the first time. It was a blind date, her friend had set up. She was tensed and fidgety. Before looking at his face, his Jhony Bravo like smile and physique she looked at his shoes. They said “Woodland” with a tree like woodland logo, the ranger make of those shoes made her contemplate he might be adventurous. They looked at each other with unmitigated expressions and she said in a soft tone “You like travelling?” He smiled and said 27 states, 8 countries…I love to travel. Relaxed, she could now converse for an hour about travel, food, traveling agents and the like. And then with a wry smile and a virtual tap on her shoulder, she wondered – “What a guess ;)”

Noticing and observing the shoes of people when you come face to face seems to be just a stupid and a peculiar rather a strange habit but it definitely makes you understand the “type” of person he/she is. Not trying to be judgmental here but it really helps. Shoes teach us a lot…read through what I write and you will understand how we can categorize and fathom people on the basis of their shoes.

To my dear (angrezi phoruner phriends) foreigner friends I mean – The word for slippers in Hindi is “Chappal”. That’s how we address shoes in India. But as a girl in her twenties I have explored, been obsessed with and collected a lot of shoes …a few I know of are -

Stiletto Heels, Kitten Heels, Cone Heels, Bellies, Prism Heels, Pumps, Spool Heels, Wedges, Sling backs, Flats, Sneakers (low top/ High Top), Clogs, Espadrilles, Marie Jane Shoes, Ballet Flats, Mules, Boots, Platform Heels, Athletic/ sports/ running/track/tennis/walking/gyming shoes, Beach shoes, Monk straps, Wingtip shoes, Galoshes, Pointes, Sandals, Slides, Mukluks, Flip Flops, Moccasins, Cleats, Kamiks, gladiators, Tap shoes, Saddle shoes, Open Toes Shoes, Indian Variety - Kolapuris, Canvas Shoes, Punjabi jutti, Beeded with glitter and flowers and fruits and colorful candy etc., Morris, Oshos, khussa shoes, gliders, Juttis etc (phewwww)

You can accurately judge a person just by looking at their shoes, psychologists say. Researchers at the University of Kansas found that people were able to correctly judge a stranger's age, gender, income, political affiliation, emotional and other important personality traits just by looking at the person's shoes. Lead researcher Omri Gillath found that by examining the style, cost, color of condition of the shoe, participants were able to guess about 90 percent of the of the owner's personal characteristics.

So I am certainly NOT wrong here. But what if the person is wearing some one else’s shoes? Wouldn’t that be a little unfair? The whole concept on one hand sounds too judgmental, but on the other hand, people do wear shoes that reveal their personality, whether they intend to or not.

Expensive shoes belong to high earners (predictable). Flashy and colorful footwear belonged to extroverts and shoes that were not new but appeared to be spotless belonged to conscientious types.

While some of the clues like the ones already described were obvious, other clues are more surprising.

Practical and functional shoes generally belong to agreeable people (I have always seen my Mom and Grandmother in DR Scholl’s). Ankle boots fit with more aggressive personalities and uncomfortable looking shoes were worn by calm personalities.

Shoes serve a practical purpose, and also serve as nonverbal cues with symbolic messages. Quite a lot of people tend to pay attention to the shoes they and others wear. "Shoes have great variety of styles, brands, looks, and functions. Because of this variety, shoes can carry individual difference information, but do they? I suggest the answer is yes and so does researchers.

However, psychologists noted that rarely some people will purposely choose shoes just to convey a certain public image that is different from their real personality. So there, I rest my case my lord.

According to me, shoes can be related to human lives, in a psychological way. The size of the shoe remains the same after a certain age, like the inner you, the beautiful girl/ handsome boy in you, the child in you, the flirt in you. The innocence that remains in you throughout your life, whereas the make, color, brand, taste, comfort and appearance changes. If the shoe does not fit, we do not change the foot. A shoe that is too large is apt to trip one, and when too small, to pinch the feet. The silliest thing is to get expensive baby shoes, because as the baby grows the shoe is doomed to be wasted, and if you still linger upon them, it gives blisters (shoe bites). The same situation when you have a high ego, if you still have it, it will give you blisters (bites that leave a deep mark). I have a cousin who is in school, his shoes are worn out, every now and then and my aunt happily says – “these are the days when he would play and grow tall and handsome”. So she gets him shoes from the most expensive brands so that the playful lad could concentrate on his football sessions comfortably. We go to the cobbler with high hopes to get our dearest shoe repaired; the sole can be changed but what about the soul if it were us? Stress disrupts human thinking? I say uncomfortable shoes disrupt human thinking. Ever walked in uncomfortable shoes and then walked on wet grass with bare foot? The feeling is just so incredible. That can be related to an unhappy relationship and then liberation…weeeeee…freedom! Or a nice holiday for a week after concluding your targets at work! Or that pebble in your shoe that irritates you and makes your life miserable, you cannot achieve anything until you shake it off from your shoe and take a deep sigh of relief.

Cinderella wouldn’t find her perfect prince if she hadn’t lost one shoe, not trying to make a point here, to carelessly leave or forget one shoe anywhere (preferably men’s locker room), but it was the shoe in the end, that made her a popular fairy tale heroine. (Really?)

Heard of passion for walking barefoot? Late Mr. Hussain (the Picasso of India) walked barefoot throughout his life, he never wore shoes! Now he wasn’t insane, he wasn’t poor (at all), the abstract paintings had bottomless capacity to make uninterrupted moolah, he was efficacious and tremendously artistic and imaginative…I mean the Richie’s who drive long luxurious cars, live in castles but still crave to earn a 'Hussain' on that exceptional wall. What was the reason for wearing no shoes then? ...He loved the feel of soil. I find that (unhygienic yes) but truly incredible. That’s innocent love…true love I say. Sticking to what feels good which brings that smile to your face.

Shoes teach us a lot, the cheap ones like the negative people the villains in your life who criticize and let you down have to be disposed and the expensive ones (family, friends and peers) have to be worn with extreme care.

Gawking at my shoe stand right now and thinking of accomplishing some more, I would say, it should be never so much about the shoes, but the person wearing them.

Everything and More...

It was 8 degrees in the capital today and I was literally shivering. I went to the nearest mall to grab a cup of coffee which would warm my numb hands and defrost my tongue. While I was at the coffee shop I ordered 1 cappuccino to-go…and the man at the counter billed it and asked me to wait for 10 minutes because of the rush. There was no place to sit in the busy evening 7ish hour of the coffee place so I chose to stand in the corner waiting for my coffee, sinking my cold numb hands in the deepest corners of my pockets. Restless as I am I started fiddling with my phone and looking around. There was a lot of noise.

Towards my right diagonal say 10 o clock there were fine gentlemen in their late 20’s or early 30’s (not all of them were charming) but over all, well bred, sophisticated and very well dressed. One of them had a classy leather bag which grabbed my attention and all six were so engrossed talking that I could barely hear.

It was just 2 minutes and I was told to wait for my order. So I started to concentrate further towards the hot “topic” among the boys and there I began to overhear. Bad habit though but amazing time-pass.

So one of them said – and this is why I don’t talk to girls. I so wanted to know “why”! I HAVE TO KNOW why…its my fundamental right to know why this fellow would elude girls for some disconcerting reason. The other one said – dude I am married, I am telling you they are all nice and cute in the beginning but from the day we got married till now, it has been 2 years or so she is a pain. Sometimes you cannot tolerate pain but other times you just deal with it. The third one said to him – you are so lucky you are married, we have been seeing each other since the last seven years and she still threatens that she will leave me one day and that I would not be able to do anything about it. All the while there was one who was very quiet, he hardly spoke and when others tried to ask him rather include him in the conversation he said – I am a happily married man, I see no fault in my relationship and everything is fine.

The stupid waiter started asking me about sugar and anything else mam etc. in the mean while and I missed some part I believe but I couldn’t resist and started to pretend that I was busy…started fiddling with my phone again and sat on a small table beside a little away from them.

1.    He just gave an opener I guess, which I missed, and then he continued. Think of women as – he started looking around for an example and then looked at his large coffee mug…think of women as a cup of coffee. The other five were quiet now and wanted an explanation for such casual comparison with the problem of their lives – so did I, suddenly I represented the women on earth and wanted an explanation too rather enlightenment ...so I listened more carefully now, pretending to read the menu.

2.    He pointed towards his cup and said - You cannot drink this coffee when it is very hot: Never talk, misbehave or aggravate a woman when she is angry. It will burn you and your blister your tongue.

3.    You have to drink this hot coffee at room temperature or cold – just the balance : talk in a gentle mood (room temperature) and do not neglect her (cold)

4.    Pour milk per your choice in this black coffee: you have an impact on her, your personality will reflect her and vice versa. Initial years and your actions will result and reflect throughout life (the amount of milk poured is permanent till the end if more)

5.    Sugar should be not too high or too low because it will be bitter: appreciate her not too much that she thinks it’s fake. Do not be bitter, else you wont be able to live

6.    Appreciate the waiter for he would serve you properly the next time also: appreciate and regard her family as yours, it will be all good as a result.

7.    Flavor it with chocolate, cinnamon, butterscotch for more taste : do not be boring, take interest in whatever she says, feel her emptiness (if the coffee is bland) and provide solutions (flavor it up) for a delightful taste.

8.    Respect the expensive cup and enjoy every bit of it: regard and respect your lady. She is the most desired, high maintenance asset of your life, the cup that you would demand and enjoy.

9.    You never leave the coffee that you ordered mid way and order another lest it is undeniably rubbish and you had no idea what you ordered in the first place : be loyal, our cup or your lady is yours till the end, do not have an eye on others coffee or you will have mixed tastes. You would forcibly change it (break the relationship) only when the expensive coffee (your valued marriage) is venomous or extremely disgusting.

10. Snacks with coffee are amazing - she will blend with every addition you give her in the most loving way – cake (children), sandwich (friends and family) etc.

11. You can take the cup far and wide when its to-go (love marriages, living away from family) – it will warm your hands and throat. Drinking it here is also an option but that way you will have to see if all others  have finished their coffee or not (arrange marriage – more compromises) but any which way the coffee is yours.

The others heard and all that while I considered myself as a cup of coffee and smiled. A coffee bean, may be because, I am not married yet ...but amazing co-relation! Till then my cup was empty but I wanted to hear more…and it was getting late. They all heard like a saint was enchanting prayers. And then one of them said – mine is Irish coffee, the other said mine is frappe…and I just got up and came home and smiled at the interesting comparison overheard at the coffee place.

The Closure

We exchange notes with a lot of people everywhere. Some are bound to stay some don’t. Acquaintances, common friends, people whom we greet, say hi’s within our workplace or external teams, neighbor’s neighbors, distant relatives, people whom you meet while travelling – in the metro, stuck at traffic signal, helps, cable guy, cute guy from the store, wrong numbers, vendors, shopkeepers, consultants, doctors, in the gym, at the club, in the swimming pool, drivers, guides, hair dressers, masseuses, nurses, hotel housekeeping staff, receptionists, security guys, car poolers, gardeners, your driving instructor, traffic police men, people who share cabs with you or that guy who collects money in front of public conveniences, ticket collectors, teachers, invigilators, IT team, people you just meet once or twice and then never…

On the other hand, in a parallel world, there exists those people whom you meet once and they have an imprint in your mind forever. If this lot disappears all of a sudden then one expects a ‘closure’. One gets a shock - How could he/she go missing? A loved one met with an accident and dies on the spot, astounded family and relatives question for a closure or the guy you love or are in a relationship with says I shall call and never calls makes you demand  a conclusion. Why wouldn’t he/she call me? Why would the person disappear from my life all of a sudden? Why would the person not answer my calls…why? The very thought would make you think, miss that person whom you have met once or may be never but has mistreated you by not accepting your calls and being rude to you. You would want him because he wouldn’t pay any attention to your madness for him. Or that interview clearance call from your dream organization that rejected you after the first round and said – “we will get back to you”, you would wait. Makes one gullible, like that puppy that was fed with milk and cookies by the owner for a few days, is at present kicked and mistreated, but still wags his tail and returns to the owner in search of food or love.

So, is a closure significant? Lets see, if the person/ thing that once made your world goes missing or is omitted all of a sudden, you would search. If the situation is out of your radar, say death or permanent damage or an intentional good bye then LET GO. We often have the tendency to fall in the same trap over and over again (the milk and cookie fed to a puppy example) and in the end of the entire episode which is bound to relapse, hurt ourselves or end up being emotionless, not trusting people or even worse, embrace pretension. Remember - “If people or things do not come back to you they were never yours”, living in false hope is a crime. Meera married lord Krishna who was well, God.

Time and again people hold on to someone and spend their lives thinking about them, comparing other people to the mentally married person, holding on to thoughts and expecting to get back to times they were once in. Similar situation is when people hold on to emotions or grudges for quite some time and grumble all the while. Trust you me, the other person would have no feelings or even the tiniest of clue as to what are you thinking or are cribbing about. Unless, you make your grieves rather apparent and believe in giving a theater performance to every single person who knows you and gain what was that petty thing you call – “sympathy”.

Often people tend getting physically hurt in order to gain sympathy over petty issues they would like to cover them up with. For instance – Little Jhonny broke a crystal vase and he sure knows that he shall be in trouble and grounded, however, when his mommy arrives – he would start crying and say, ah I have hurt my ankle so that the potential attention is diverted to his ankle and not the shattered crystal on the floor. Seeking sympathy is easy and there, closure becomes easy. Similar is the case with depression, we hide away from our feelings and start hurting our thinking process and our brain for mishaps and unfortunate circumstances that have occurred in our lives. Move on and let go. A mother left her daughter when she got divorced and mum and daughter were never in touch throughout their life. Mother married again, daughter lived with her father and step mom. She lived with a trust of closure but what did she hope for – nothing? If you say why does it always happen to me – there is always a “why not” glued to it. The bravery award goes to the one who handles all the why not’s in the most “let me not waste my time thinking about the closure, rather start afresh” way!

Closure is a waste of time, closure is not forever momentous, closure is not for the one’s you meet once or for someone who never reciprocates or those who treat you like anybody or an option rather “time pass”. Life goes on and one should move one without insisting on an appropriate finale. People come and go, life – goes on! If your words were a painting and you happen to write or say it to someone who just left you midway and never cared to come back, then that painting would always be incomplete and the canvas which is your life shall never be utilized. “The end” is not always important because there could be a new, better story that would just pop up to brighten your life.

Mind, Body and Reality!

It has been long since I have written. Really long. A very distinctive thought came in my mind today and I thought, let me, well …put pen to paper about it. Let’s just talk about the human mind…about humans…about us. What makes us foolish and what makes us so special. Going by the definition of “mind” - The mind is a set of cognitive faculties including consciousness, perception, thinking, judgement, and memory. The mind is the faculty of a human being's reasoning and thoughts. It holds the power of imagination, recognition, and appreciation, and is responsible for processing feelings and emotions, resulting in attitudes and actions. Our thoughts reflect our body and our action. It’s something that I am thinking or doing right now, will lead to consequences, good or bad, later. In times today, if someone tells you to “get your shit together” or “you’re messed up”, it just means you need to take a good control of your actions!

Most of us spend most of the day in office or commuting to office, office - where we work for which money gets accumulated in our respective accounts as salary. We get a few hours until we work again the next day. We get the weekend to relax where the accumulated money is swiped or drawn on EMIs, bills, eating joints, movie theaters, spas and shopping malls to give us leisure or fulfill our needs and wants. That’s life and that is it. Not to forget weekend getaways which required more petrol and more money go somewhere far and do the same, probably climb a hill in expensive shoes and tag ourselves on the online portals with pictures and stuff.

We are brand conscious. We want variety. We want more money. We want luxury and we need a relaxed mind which we are deprived of. Earning to eat a meal peacefully is so orthodox these days. We earn to eat at the loud and crowded food court after we watch out favourite movie with popcorns and coke. The typical “me” time is shopping alone or getting a spa, food I like is “at the luxurious 7 star restaurant”, place I like to visit is “ofcourse out of india”. Home is where the heart is because the 55 inch TV, AC, and a more comfortable bathroom with maids and a Jacuzzi?  is available with a number of remote controls and tantrums. Where are we heading to? Wrist band with heart rate and pedometers are a must with smart phones and ipads. Life is unimaginable with an air and a hair conditioner. We are slaves to technology and objects. And what adds to the hall of fame – the number of medicines one takes and which hospital one goes to for treatment. A lot of people take a lot of pride in announcing their diseases and consuming multi colored capsules as dessert. We walk with high thoughts, egos, iPads, iPhones, debit and credit cards and car keys with a lot of pride. Because without them we are nothing! Absolute Zilch!

Visit a mortuary today! See what happens to a dead body step by step. The same body you did not respect by eating junk, taking drugs and drinking. The same eyes which saw more money and comforts…get burned. The same nose and the same mouth …all in flames. The objects you choose to stick by other than relations are just left behind for someone maybe or for no one. Those expensive rings are objects but those hands who could have done a lot are wasted and burnt. Those high heels and suede shoes are yet again objects but the feet under them which could make you walk with your old parents for medicines and chores …are remembered.  Every part of you can be valuable to those around you, to the world but if you do not want to utilize them and do not understand your worth, they will still be burnt BUT not remembered. What matters are your deeds which your sane mind forces you to do. What matters is making someone smile, what matters is being a good son, friend, husband and a father. No one remembers that guy who was shot in a mob and was dumped beside the road. As Buddha states – “Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds.”

The mind is a beautiful thing. The Greatest Power is the Power of our Mind. Once we understand this and learn to use the power within us, we can create wonderful changes in our life. Think good and value your actions for what you have today, for tomorrow is just a “body”, burnt, buried or thrown…

One Virus

What is a Virus?

Well in layman terms – you sneeze or have a runny nose, have a temperature maybe. The doctor recommends some tests with rest and anti-biotics. You take a leave from work and feel down for a day or two. You then return to work and realize there is a lot of pending work and your body copes up with the unanswered emails, busy hours, and the rest.  Also sometimes a virus is also a way or telling people that they need to be aloof, they need some me-time and that their mind and body are worn out and you need a break. That’s a usual virus we all know of.

But who would have thought that the coronavirus, the giant imported virus, which is still threatening us, will have devastating consequences! Consequences that would move you and your world! Consequences that will make people insane! Consequences that will make them stay at home for more than a year! And Consequences that would take a billion lives to an extent that their last rites would not include their own family members burying them or burning their pyre, rather dumping them by men wearing PPE kits layer on layer, treating them as a radio-active waste!

We live in a different world now. The economy has been shaken, a lot of people have lost their lives or seen someone die, they could not even see the deaths of their closed ones! A large amount of people are unemployed or have changed their profession due to Covid because they at some point needed money to eat and support their families. Businesses have incurred humungous losses; a lot of market-sectors are doomed. Everything now is low key and most of us are scared to step out and are comfortable at home. There may have been some positives like spending time with family, Greater use of technology and digitalization, very less usage of petrol, no useless or unnecessary travel, surge in healthcare, financial inclusion etc BUT…

Is it all worth it?

As the word has spread that the cases have reduced, people have started going out, travelling to destinations for vacations etc. Now they might be taking precautions like wearing a mask or sanitizing themselves, but do we realize that 99% of use are still not vaccinated. The risk is the same as it was a year ago. The lockdown still exists. Now the question is when will this be over? Rather when will be able to breathe without masks or stop being a neurotic specially about our parents and children or loved one’s? Will the coronavirus ever end? Well the WHO says early 2022, but is that permanent? The roll out of vaccines is a huge task for the approx. 1.3 billion people in India, with other problems like rising unemployment whereas the government is primarily thinking about GDP. But with that said, per reports, the humidity in the weather (although coronavirus has flared up at different times and different temperatures in the world) and the moisture from the masks might lessen the severity of the virus. We might also achieve herd immunity, who knows! Nevertheless, there are a lot of other challenges that lie way ahead of us and we must collectively and responsibly surpass them. Therefore, it is time to be patient (and not a patient)!

It will end (well maybe) but one must be careful because there are monsters and viruses out there!

Choices and Negotiations

The art of choosing is important. We make choices every day, we make choices everywhere. From which t-shirt to wear in the morning or drinking coffee or milk or planning your weekend and choosing a place particularly. There are deeper choices that we make with people. We have to choose what nurtures our mind and body, like we have to choose healthy food over junk we definitely have to make a choice between what is relevant and noise. We have to make a choice between people who matter and the one’s we can ignore. We have to choose between responsibilities and happiness, between personal leisure and taking care of someone, between our future and the ones who will be in it.

So how do we do that easily without being fickle and indecisive?

Well the first thing is clarity of choice. Choose one and stand by it. Once you have made your choice. Work towards it. Weigh the pros and cons and negotiate your offer, you know minor adjustments here and there so that no one’s hurt and everyone’s ok, now, we cannot really make ever one happy. There will always be that one person or maybe a couple who will let you down, loathe you for some reason and never believe in you. Treat them as, well how do I put this nicely, furniture? I mean if a tiny armless chair is on your way you can always fold it and keep it in your balcony. Make sure the chair doesn’t rot if its raining. And you know that the tiny chair id not a necessity when you have a 8-seater dining table with teak wood chairs right in your living room (your family and closest friends) OR let’s put it in this way, what do you do when you pass a garbage dump? You cover your nose with a cloth, hold your breath and carry on right? You cannot do anything about the 100-foot land full of reeking rotten dump, you can’t possible sit and start cleaning, you just cover your nose and pass it.  So the crux of my very exhaustive analogies is that you have to by default ignore some people and they do not at all form the sample of the choices you make.

So once you have a choice, stand by your choice, make a plan and start negotiating, there’s no stopping you to come to a conclusion provided you ignore the hatred and noise. But what do we do with plans? We execute them, slowly and steadily you know like Mr turtle who won the race. The indecisive lot would always think that being the first is foolishness, they would rather see the world win the race and think of “learning” from them rather “benefiting” from their mistakes but in this process they become the masses who are too late in a queue and eventually they don’t proceed because there always will be other distractions, age, or obsoleteness in their way of “waiting” and “watching” and doing “nothing” resulting in “deterioration” of skills, intellect, time and energy. A person can work for 40 years and more in an organization and contribute zilch to his intellect, that’s a nightmare your parents would have had after giving you birth and expecting you to be a great person!

 

The shelf life of marriage

Marriage is like a mirror. It has to be always clean and transparent, it can be broken easily, and it's reflection is reflected on families, children and the society. In this era of broken mirrors, it has become extremely easy to come out of a bad relationship or a relationship that doesn't work. But who decides what's working for them and what's not? Whose right? Whose wrong? The emotional turmoil in relationships leading to a legal rather "mutual" battle involves a lot of pain, turmoil, energy, money, embarrassment, allegations and dirt. So what does a person do when he or she is not happy with a relationship? Do they sit and adjust like an animal in a cage or do they not care about the consequences and go on with an aweful exchange of muck.

The problem is "expectations", there are some genuine troubled ones also but that's a minority these days and it has become a trend to marry and separate intentionally for money, jewellery, property, alimony and the like. The laws towards women still stand far powerful than the laws towards men. There's dowry, domestic violence, forgery, rape etc which stands like a mammoth than that of a weak man, thinking you want money? Take it but don't dilapidate my life. And that's ladies and gentlemen mutual settlement, blackmail or extortion. 

Furthermore, there is women cell which further gives a woman 6 months cooling period to plan how and when after 6 months the boy's family can be pulverized. 

I don't say all girls do that but the minority who actually suffered or are in distress, either end their life or actually fight in court till they are old. That's the plight of real cases who suffer real domestic violence and the like. 

What has changed? 

The business model! The model has changed entirely from olden times where our mothers were mostly house wives and the father was the "man of the family". The woman was given a monthly something to run the house. She cleaned, raised the kids, cooked and did chores everyday. They went shopping for clothes etc 2-3 times or less in a year. The man was worshipped and everything depended on his mood, whims and fancies. He could be barberic, he could be nice to her! But there were rules. Rules for a woman. They went out for a holiday in nearby places like shimla and mussoorie. Travel was not vacay with my girlfriend's friends from a luxurious beach resort to Goa, dubai or Maldives with insta pictures of women in shorts and bandanas sipping on beer and cocktails, pub-hoppinh and getting a spa leaving their children behind to be taken care by nannies and in laws or the husband himself. Luxuries were way way less. There were were no cupboards full of clothes and accessories, there were very few brands for wellness and care, there was no swiggy or Zomato, no shopping malls, no online shopping, no mobiles, no laptops, no shoe racks full of shoes, no walking wardrobes, the women didnt talk about sanitry pads, sex was a taboo, Western wear was also a tabboo in a lot of families, smoking and drinking was a tabboo, everything was a taboo. Lol 

The PRESENT

Women are wayyy wayyyyyyy superior than men now. They are highly educated. They are smart, they work, they are CEOs, they are on the moon, in the courts, in hospitals, in goverment offices, in parliament's, in schools, in offices and practically every where but at home just cooking and cleaning. They earn and they think they cannot be taught how to live. Adjustment is difficult. Compromising is not easy for them. If the way they were treated by their parents is way differnt than the treatment they get from the in laws, they speak. They find their place, make it and sit on it like a BOSS! They raise their voice when required, they drive and abuse, they follow laws, they pay tax! Hence separation is easy when things dont go thier way and it has been made easy because they are EQUAL and they are not bound to take any nonsense.

So I have proved my point here. If we are equal, smarter and brighter than men, Do we need their alimony, their money, their property? I don't think so. If you're in a bad relationship, get out! Start afresh and carry on with the same de. Never play the woman card and try to remove the blotch and the stereotype people have been making for a few bad fish have spoiled the whole pond.

A day of bleh

 The future 

The thoughts of the future make us all insecure. Although you could have a good job, children to keep yourself more busy, a loving husband or wife and in-laws who are well nice, great friends, all assets like a luxurious car, a big house and a good bank balance. 

But under the mountain of responsibility lies your personal time, hopes and a big to do list. You cannot move the mountain alone, would need a force of people to tie it and pull the rope in an opposite direction. You would just quickly Bend and pick up your paper, the only sheet of paper where you will have all your answers. But even if you See that happening and manage to slip that golden paper out of the mountain, as just as you have the golden sheet in your hand, the ink on the paper will be all washed away due to rain? Or something? And all that effort of impressing people, befriending them and convincing them to make that mountain would go for a toss! Its a lot of work down the drain 

And then I sometimes feel, do I even need that paper? Life is well... unpredictable and Covid has taught me that. So here I am living life to the fullest or living like a fool - I am shopping, doing whatever I want, eating whatever I like, trying to be happy and not overthinking because we'll life is short and may end when you think all's under control and the future is secured! Ok I might be exercising, having multi vitamins or making some FDs but well life is unpredictable!

Instead of fighting for my rights and making everyone see the wild animal in me I decide to tame that wild animal and only curse in seclusion, every single second. I got my yearly checkups done, uric acid was a bit more but still Something inside of me seems dead. I don't care about future, anyone having big aspirations or ambitions annoys me! Everything annoys me 

Silence 

Some days command silence. Not grumpy not overly enthusiastic not emotional over remembering the dead or after reading the news...just silent. It helps me numb. Its one of those days where you get up, just follow your routine and spend the entire day like a clock..just ticking and doing your job. You don't care what others feel. You don't give a damn about the the world. Just priotitize your most important work and keep going. I learnt this from my father who works in this mode. No emotions. No fucks given. Just the job done and then taking a sigh of relief by doing your thing - walking or watching a series BUT not telling anyone about anything. Explore yourself and seclude yourself some days. Your quietness makes your family curious and when they ask is something wrong? Just say you have a headache so that they leave you alone again! Enjoy the silence in your head for a day, it feels good to be swamped in your own thoughts and cleaning your temp files for more memory!

The breakup 

Social media is the biggest distraction ever. I deleted Facebook, instagram and twitter for a day and I am feeling as if I don't have anything that's good enough to entertain me. The gram was ruling my life. Im sad in the first place but it looks like a breakup with a person who never appreciated me but always showed me that others are in a better place than me!

I think I will move on. But the gossip and memes and stories and stalking people I would never in my life meet, maybe ignore them if I come across them by hiding behind something big, bigger than my ego. But I'm feeling a bit lost today, maybe I would need to make a priority list which says number 1 - get a life, number 2 - fuck off laptop and number 3 - I just need a damn holiday. The likes and awws and a little hope that a crush would like my status or send the most easily available or recommended emoji! Im better than that!

Uljhay hue se - hindi poetry!

Zanjeeron me palay hai hum

Zanjeeron se bandhay hue hai hum

Zanjeeron ko na tod sakay hum

In zanjeeron me hi rehna ab seekh liya 

Nahi aata in zanjeeron se bahar aana 

Sab kuch ab waisa hi hoga...sab kuch pehle jaisa 

Agay badhna tha humein, bohot peechay hum aa gaye

Unnati na dekhi kabhi, ab unnati na dekh payengay

Zanjeer jeet gayi, himmat aur sahas bandh gaya

In zajeero me hum ulajh gaye aise ke bahar nikalna bhool sa gaye 

Restart Rewrite Rewind

Writing your thoughts and erasing them 

The fear of someone watching you write

Reading your thoughts, creating a mayhem 

Slouching and hiding not starting a fight 

Just to be unseen and writing in peace

Someone's arrival could cast a blight

Because they are just here to end a lease

By one means or the other, hook or crook

Would I dump my face in a hefty book

Not caring anymore if you read my thoughts

I need some alone time, connect the dots 

A lot of years passed by since I wrote 

But today I gathered the courage to quote

In a public place, thoughts not to be seen

As I write in seclusion without being mean

They want to read, interested in my writing 

The notepad being shut down at their citing 

No one around now but I see a gadget

Recording me while I hide inside my chalet

Four year olds with cameras are dangerous 

Where can I now hide my ideas vaporous

For today I felt that I could write in quietude

The universe said sorry, the skies still blued 

World will remain the same today tomorrow 

Quality time to write which I can't borrow 

How and when would I get time I wandererd 

Those eyes looked at me and conquered

Mom I need you, you can't do this to me 

She closed her diary and sipped her tea 

All yours my darling, I dare not think or write 

She lost her thought, her dreams all dryte

When the bugger is old, I will pen all down 

No slouch,

 no hiding, embrace my crown 

Hustling

The beauty of hustling is that you lose track of time. Is that a good thing? Absolutely! Because when you're alone, caught in a whirlwind of thoughts, trying to do what you love but struggling to start, it’s easy to get lost in distractions. You might think about reading, only to stop after a couple of pages, grab a snack, prepare a meal, take a hot bath, or call someone. Before you know it, you're bouncing between activities—eating, walking, or doing anything but what you intended. Your mind wanders, untrained and unstructured, and at the end of the day, you might find yourself binge-watching shows with snacks, indulging in skincare routines, or chatting with someone you'd rather not talk to.

But here’s the point I want to make: Discipline.

Structure is key. It’s about having an organized day—Activity 1, 2, 3, 4, followed by 5, 6, 7, with short, well-deserved breaks in between. Remember the structured days of school? Timed classes, short recesses, and clear transitions? That system worked for a reason. But as adults, we often abandon those principles. Hustling, with its urgency and momentum, brings back a semblance of discipline—if you don’t let it overwhelm you. It forces focus, order, and a sense of accomplishment as tasks get ticked off one after the other.

Take parenting as an example. Imagine not waking up on time when you have kids. Who’s going to get them ready, pack their bags, make breakfast, polish their shoes, or tie their laces? If you’re lazy, they’ll miss school, and you’ll miss your precious “me time” because they’re still home.

While relaxation and unwinding are crucial—whether through small breaks during the day or a vacation—hustling brings a discipline that’s hard to match. It’s okay to embrace mediocrity some days, to wake up, follow a routine, and not overthink things. No philosophy, no deep strategies, no obsessing over the past, present, or future—just following the rules of the day. It’s a mentality we might have resented as kids when our parents pushed us, but adopting a military-like precision occasionally can be incredibly freeing. Overthinking can take a backseat.

Personally, I’ve tried this method, and it works. Start the day with a clear plan: wake up, tackle tasks, eat breakfast, get ready for work, and take short breaks (maybe a laugh over coffee with colleagues). Work on what’s assigned, prioritize tasks, and stick to the essentials. Don’t overcomplicate things with unnecessary ideas or opinions. Plan meals, prepare exactly what’s needed, exercise or go for a walk to unwind, and get to bed on time.

The key? Keep your mind clear. No grudges, no regrets, no overthinking about anyone or anything. Just follow the plan, stick to the routine, and get things done. It’s a simple, effective way to keep moving forward.

Reel or Real

Have you ever felt an instant connection with someone after just one conversation? It’s like magic—or maybe a glitch in the Matrix. Of course, the other person might not feel the same way (awkward), but every now and then, you just *click*. And it doesn’t matter if they’re from a different lifestyle, are decades older or younger, live halfway across the globe, or pray to a god you can’t pronounce. Sometimes, it just works.  

It’s the kind of connection that has people meeting on the weirdest corners of social media (or in the frozen aisle of a grocery store) and ending up married—or at least DMing each other memes for life. We’ve all heard the stories. But let’s face it: behind the anonymity of chat forums and social apps, it’s all one big fat lie. That 36-year-old you’re chatting with? They might be 24. Or 54. And those filtered selfies? Let’s just say Photoshop is doing the *Lord’s work*.  

We spin tales, morph photos, and share half-truths with strangers who could be *anyone*—a heartbroken widow, a bored spouse, a hormonal teenager, or, oh, I don’t know, a criminal mastermind. It’s like starring in a low-budget reality show with zero production value and a whole lot of risk. Best-case scenario: you gain a pen pal or, if you’re really lucky, a soul mate. Worst case? Welcome to the world of online scams, blackmail, and digital drama so epic it deserves its own Netflix series.  

But hey, harmless chatting can be oddly addictive. No sharing passwords, no family secrets, no sending that one questionable photo—and boom, you’re safe, right? WRONG. Because somewhere between the harmless banter and sharing your favorite playlists, you’re spending hours talking to this stranger. Hours that could’ve gone toward, I don’t know, actually living your life. And before you know it, you’re replaying their messages in your head like a cringe-worthy rom-com.  

Then, the guilt kicks in. You’re married, for crying out loud! You have kids! A partner! A functioning home! But there you are, sending offline messages to someone who, let’s be honest, probably doesn’t even use their real name. And let’s not sugarcoat it: if the roles were reversed, and it was your husband doing the same thing, you’d be halfway through filing for divorce and asking for the house and the dog.  

It’s all so complicated. Is it cheating? Is it innocent? Is it just… *human*? It’s a mess of emotions wrapped in a layer of pheromones and sprinkled with regret. One moment, you’re basking in the attention of someone who makes you feel like a 10-years-younger version of yourself. The next, you’re spiraling because this stranger, who treats you like a goddess, asks for a picture, a video call, or—gasp—a meeting.  

That’s when it hits you: it’s time to stop. And so, you make the grand decision to ghost them by not opening the app for 30 days. Poof—account deleted. Problem solved. Except it’s day 29, and you’re lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about them.  

Because even though they were just a stranger, they were the perfect stranger.

Wave after Wave

The second wave!

By now we all know someone who lost his loved one to COVID OR we are those someone’s whose family, friends, relatives, colleagues, teachers, acquaintances or neighbors died! What is man’s basic need? Air, water, food and shelter? Well, the virus is snatching away the basic needs from us now and what can we do about it? Nothing! The 4 places where people can be seen rushing these days are hospitals, pharmacies, oxygen refilling stations and crematoriums. The deaths are far more than the one’s which are reported.

The shortage of medicines and cylinders has made people get them from black market at Exorbitant prices! No one seems to object because in the end of the day, the life of patients is at stake! A lot of people have died due to lack of oxygen. People go to any extent to save a loved one, I would. The hospital staff and admin won’t allow people to enter even if they are dying inside the premises, no admissions are made. The dying patients are made to wait in the ambulance or their vehicle and there is no doctor or nurse to look after them. Medical professionals are devastated. Some have to choose to attend to patients. 

The country’s lack of preparedness is on a display! There is a lack of medicines, lack of plasma, lack of hospital beds, lack of ICUs, lack of medical staff and most importantly lack of oxygen. Our faith in the government has been lost. There is no severe lockdown from the central government and people are still celebrating their birthdays, anniversaries and getting married, flaunting an embroidered mask with the couture, booking venues and keeping the guests limited to 50! This and there is the other part who struggle to get a hospital bed or a cylinder for a loved one who is dying from lack of oxygen. In the end, waits again at the crematorium to get him burnt in a pyre of 20 other covid positive people. Even the end is not dignified and bidding goodbyes are now virtual and heartbreaking!

All I can say with a heavy heart is now our health is in our hands. Stay home, wear double masks and try not to get exposed to the deadly corona virus because its taking a lot of lives and the state we will be in (if God forbid we are exposed!) will be enormously regrettable.

The itch

One fine day on a work from home something itched below her waist, is it a rash? Is it something else? She faced the window so she had a clear view and there it was!!! She was shocked! The new mother with a lot of weight, despised being body shamed every now and then. Some would say household chores will make you slim, some would say you looked like a model before, some commented, so much time has passed but you haven’t shed that baby weight, some blamed the virus for gyms not being open and also came surplous unasked suggestions like herbal tea in the morning, running, ashtang yoga, giving up carbs and sugar, aerobics and Zumba! With all of this she was in the game - maintained her calm, resumed work, did her chores and taught new things to the munchkin everyday. Life becomes so redundant with the same chores doesn’t it? As the time passed, the child in her started becoming old, maturing with the monotony of chores.

The moment she looked down, she discovered something absurd today.  Shocked and elated and and to her surprise her soul became alive with what she saw. Shiny Leopard stripes in broad day light! And whats more interesting? Underneath her belly there lied a protracted streak. The stiches shined and the surgery wound now healed and pigmented looked so bright. She gazed at the scar, smiled and smiled and saw it yet again till she became conscious. My bubba came from here! I should be awarded, I made life and the doctor sealed me and there I am with victory marks on my body! A warrior with warrior scars which will always make me happy, she thought. She looked at her left and there lied a bunch of stretch mark creams – ah mothercare, forest essentials, bio oil and shea butter – listen you expensive stretch mark removal creams, she screamed. I like my scars and they made me realize I am no less than a superwoman!

Never did she get the time or sense to look at her marks and give a thought to them. Blindly after bathing she would moisturize herself and like a bot continue her chores repetitively. The next 10 minutes she was in awe, as the nine months of her gravidity, just ran through her memory lane, the ultrasounds and the morning sickness, the cravings and gobbling like a dinosaur, her husband pampering her with foot massages for her feet would swell like never before. Peeing in every 2 minutes and repeat. Seeing the baby for the first time, those tiny hands and feet. Those tears of happiness and admiration. Being paranoid about everything, the back and neck pain and the sleepless nights. The first word and the first tooth, EVERYTHING!  

She couldn’t help it but lifted her shirt up for the second time, looked her victory marks and smiled again! 

The itch vanished but the smile remained.

The struggle of not being XYZ

Today we are going to talk about why are you not better than XYZ!

• Out of the thousands of sperms the fastest and the fittest sperm lands in the egg

• Only a healthy fetus survives in the womb else it leads to a miscarriage

• Every pregnancy is different, some moms to be puke, some don’t, some crave for somethings, some don’t. some become too fat some gain only a few kilos.

• When a child is born, some resemble the mother or mothers side, some the father or the fathers side, some are completely different. The growth, weight, genetics and looks of the babies are different. Still XYZ sleeps throughout the night while others cry.

• Children throughout the months take their own time with Crawling, teething, speaking and walking, they are compared with others since the beginning the XYZ had taken out his teeth before, XYZ crawled first, XYZ walked first…

• In school, your name should be on the black board because XYZ is smart and intelligent

• You need to crack more than 85% because XYZ is good at maths and you need an overall good percentage

• You choose a profession and copy the footsteps of XYZ because XYZ is better than yoU

• You earn and marry because XYZ earns more than you.

• If you are a girl, XYZ is more talented, “sanskari’ and prettier than you and she would believe in an arranged marriage

• If you are a guy XYZ would always earn more than you and would marry the XYZ girl as above

• Raising your children, having a dream house, car and personality like XYZ, vacationing like XYZ

• Having a daughter in law or son in law like XYZ

• Having a wheelchair and a hospital facility like XYZ

• Having the same last rites as XYZ, same teak wood coffin maybe…

Reality check –

The XYZ may always look good, literally XYZ would have the best relationships, would look so good, would have the best of all the above but YOU don’t need to be anyone else. We have this in ourselves, we compare and get compared to so many people throughout our lives that we don’t believe in ourselves.

Its wonderful to be perfectly imperfect, little imperfections make one so beautiful. Everyone has a sad story and everyone has their own battles, baggage and failures, I bet even XYZ is imperfect. We stoop so low that we even think that someone else’s parents are better than ours! Trust me those perfect, happy and over enthusiastic parents can never be compared to our real ones because they never felt us in their arms, they never cleaned our dirty diapers and they never saw us in sickness and health.

All throughout our lives we struggle to embrace our imperfections and to get accepted, because XYZ is always appreciated and we are ignored. As a parent, child, in-law, brother, sister, boss, colleague, friend or relative CHANGE THIS TODAY. Try the following –

• Appreciate the hard work

• Criticize without hurting ones feelings

• Step yourself in some one else’s shoes and then give your royal gyan

• Don’t sprinkle your opinions everywhere

• DO NOT force your child to do stuff (like juggling with knives and breathing fire, OR like reciting poems and dancing infront of everyone, your child is not in circus)

• Stop complaining about things

• Most important - Never compare anyone with others

What do I become when I grow up…

In times like these when people are dying of a pandemic, there’s one thing that we can try to become – Grateful! The people who are fretting at home, becoming irritated and frustrated that they cannot go out dressed, to eat at their favorite restaurant, grooming in their desired salons, dining and drinking with friends and their loved ones, watching a movie and bowling, shopping in malls, running marathons and street food ..do not realize that till April 22^nd 2010 there have been around 18000 deaths worldwide and around 25 lac corona virus cases around the globe. With the numbers increasing, should we be HAPPY about we being at home, safe and getting food and dairy every day OR shall we continue being small minded and whine a little more?

Policemen, doctors, nurses, pharmaceuticals, sanitary workers and essential grocery stores are saving us each day and are fulfilling our daily needs by risking their lives. Just standing out in the balcony for one day and making sounds with your utensils doesn’t mean the gratitude is over. The ones who are still breaking laws out there and not realizing the consequences of the corona virus, are the most unwise people around. And NOW people who have the audacity to crib and sulk over the options available to them need some serious therapy!

I mean put yourself in the shoes of God for 2 minutes, just two minutes. There you are with a decent house, family lives with you, you eat normal food every day, you get the food you eat easily available to you. You have a family and a job maybe and a steady source of income. So, there your prayer to God goes “God! When will the lock-down ever end? God, I can’t tolerate the people in my house, God I want to go out, it’s very frustrating at home. Consequently, God listens to your royal needs and answers - You know what? Let me take this away from you so that you realize that you are so blessed, you thankless prick (I’m sure God will be a little sweet with his words). Do you even deserve what you have? What about businessmen and entrepreneurs whose daily source of income is shut. What about the families whose siblings, spouses and parents are infected? What about the essential services workers like doctors, policemen etc. who have not seen their own children, spouses and parents for months? When things happen with us, we crib that why do bad things happen to us and when we are safe inside our houses, we crib that why can’t we go out?

So, what do we want to become? An ungrateful and unhappy forever cribbing person or a self-content person who’s happy to be alive and lives in the present with full enthusiasm and zeal. Your choice.

Being a limited edition

A very few people love crows, pigeons or potatoes. They’re common and all over the place …talking of common, common salt has the word common in it, but, it sure is one of the most essential and important ingredients when it comes to cooking. Now, it is not the fault of crows or pigeons or potatoes because they are effortlessly found, its just that they don’t have an impact! Now nature is such that one cannot compare crows to peacocks or potatoes to cottage cheese but human beings are not vegetables or birds! We are what we become. My point here is that a lot of us live in the rat race, to please others, to reply every message, to cook everyone’s favorite, to upload the photos that we cooked (we all do that :)), to become social media influencers, because everyone is becoming one. Don’t we just love to follow the fashion that is trending? Sometimes it’s uncomfortable or unbearable. Whom are we trying to impress? Why do we want an affirmation to everything we do? Why do we want to fit in? Now we can’t make everyone happy right? NEVER! NO WAY. There will always be those haters, grumpy, sad and ungrateful faces no matter what. So, lets try and be us and not enter a marathon.

What is it to be exclusive they ask, being exclusive is not being different and definitely not trying to be different. I had a friend who dyed her hair pink, covered her arms with tattoo, pierced her lips, nose, navel and ears (maybe more organs who knows) and suddenly started hearing punk music, made sure the tattoos spell rebel. People looked at her as if they were looking at an endangered species at a zoo.  Maybe that’s the character she wanted to be in. I say why not, better than a lot of us who don’t preach what we do but make sure to upload fake stories and examples of how one should be living!

Being exclusive is getting in touch with yourself and asking yourself, what do you want SOUL? What do YOU want to become? Were you born to fit in? OR were you born to live life at your own terms. If there was no social media, what would you be? I’d write on a paper, I still do that 😊 but is the affirmation of your followers, the likes and hearts of your online so called friends is all that’s keeping you alive? Bury your mobile for a day. Keep it on loud and just pick up important calls. See how that feels. Some of us wouldn't know what to do while some of us would explore something new.

Think about it…

Whats up OR Watsapp

This is not a personal blog, a very few people know me personally. I would say around 12...well maybe 15 if I must take a whole number. I had discontinued what I loved the most. Well they say that the pen is mightier than the sword, I say…when people are blurting their opinions everywhere one more would not count and who am I kidding, swords? We have people killing their own kind in places of worship and live streaming it on social media. Therefore, it’s all very upsetting and deeply inacceptable.

Indian elections are near, and the esteemed citizens of India must decide who will rule their country. I mean, we cannot make mistakes like other countries and then repent for a very long time on the decisions of the ruling party. We make the ruling party, isn’t that enough, so liberating? But let’s see what are we doing about it? Of course, we are sharing memes and vines on social media specially the abuse of communication. We have this basic requirement which is WhatsApp which takes most of our precious time, by forwarding crap and making sure those poor ones with a lesser memory card have to clean it every second day. Those silent groups, festival messages and oh what the hell messages. Apps like tik tok or dubsmash or the world-famous games suck our energy. Where do we express our anger and happiness? We type it! Where do we bitch about people? On groups who don’t have the same person for sure, it’s very entertaining isn’t it? What is wrong with our language? Nothing much, just words and abbreviations are getting shorter with hashtags. Oh that’s “adorbs”, “FOMO”,”OOTD”,”slay”,”savage”, I personally do not have a problem with any of this, its just the generation gap that bothers me all the time. I feel in the next 15 years there would be a whole other language that I would have to learn in order to converse with my children. My other concerns are lesser phone calls and more watsapping, do you know that a WhatsApp document is now taken as a court proof and if someone has to be summoned, he/she could be summoned via WhatsApp? STRANGE, I feel this is because of the usability of the mode that people are indeed saying, ok whatever its cheap and atleast it wouldn’t go unread, for you become inattentive or impolite if those two blue ticks are not seen by the other person. ENOUGH I say, Enough of this and lets start living like our parents and grand parents did without technology “for just a while”

So lets see what changes ca we bring to have “more time” which can be better “utilized” for binge watching or connecting with people.

1.       Start calling relatives/ family/ friends more often

2.       Try to have a more refined vocabulary than cutting short existing words

3.       Start playing real games – outdoor games not PUBG in a park

4.       If the world wont change by political leaders, YOU take an initiative (don’t pee on the roads, litter or stop someone spit on the roads, educate children who cannot study, stop giving bribe, try to make your neighborhood safer and cleaner)

5.       Vent your emotions out to friends and family (not colleagues, no one cares)

6.       Invest your talent in a hobby, it helps channelize one’s energies

7.       Have one day every week, start by one day a week as a digital detox where you just receive phone calls and do not read messages/ emails/ facebook/ twitter/ Instagram handles. Explore a new place without going to Zomato or visit the one which you always like, watch a film by not reading the IMDB rating or the rotten tomatoes reading and have your own perspective to it. Read a book by not going to GoodReads, choose one from the book shop and not a recommended one. Connect with yourself one day a week.